We came home from a two week road trip on Mon nite. In our last few hours of driving home we got a phone call from my Father in Law saying that his Steve's Mom had passed out and was now at an urgent care center getting checked out. She was having severe lower abdominal pain and very dehydrated.
As it turns out, she ends up being transported to the hospital via ambulance. Once there they decide she needs surgery. What they found was appendicitis AND a blocked intestine. The end of the infected appendix had actually wrapped itself around the small intestine so that nothing could pass. Crazy. I am glad they found it, repaired it and the nothing more sever happened. This could have been a deal breaker life-wise. She is healing well and should be home by this Sunday.
Now, you know I can never leave a serious situation without some one taking a hit....unfortunately this comes at my MIL's expense. I am the first one she sees when she comes out of surgery. I hold her hand and ask how she is and she replies in a raspy voice that she is so thirsty and that her lips are dry. She's not allowed to drink but I do go hunting around her purse for some chapstick to give her some relief but I can't find any. I then go to my purse and dig out my Burt's Bees lip balm....that has a healthy red tint to it....rhubarb to be exact. Anyway, she wants to apply it herself as she is fiercely independent. Fine. But keep in mind, this is a woman who has recently been anesthetized so she is the equivalent of a drunk that has the blood alcohol level of a million. I then painfully watch her apply (smear) it onto her lips (half her face). Someone really should have arrested me at this point because I did nothing but stare on in horror...and then eventually with absolute entertainment. The end product was a mix of Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker and a clown with a very bad sense of eyesight. I did not have the heart to say anything, and everyone else acted as if all was well.....which actually cracked me up even more....the pure denial. I wanted to stay around longer, but I just couldn't take it anymore without inappropriately bursting out in laughter.
Here's a little update:
My MIL called from the hospital today and asked for me. I thought she was calling to tell me they moved her to another room. But when she spoke I could tell something was really wrong. I thought she was healing well from her surgery to remove her appendix and a blockage in here intestine. What they told her this morning was that the blockage was caused by a cancerous mass. She has cancer.
This was the MIL that hated me for the longest time....and truth be told, I wasn't crazy about her either. She was really mean. Anyway, two months ago, I decided to pull my head out of my butt and realize that she would never change and that if things were going to change it would have to be me. I started to take her out to lunch and do things with her. I knew she may try to sabotage my efforts but I was ready not to get insulted but to forge on trying anyway. I figured that at some point we would have to take her into our home when she got older....I could make this easier or difficult. If I made things better between us now, or at least tried, then having her here might be a lot easier on everyone involved. Does that make sense?
It turned out that my efforts were the magic bullet. Her heart towards me seems to have changed. Because of my pride, I hated biting the bullet to do this, but I now see the Lord's hand in all of this. My MIL now knows with out a doubt that my efforts towards her are not of charity due to her illness, but of a sincere heart to want to forge a relationship with her, as my efforts surfaced before her illness and not in response to it.
This morning, she paid me the highest compliment she ever could have without even knowing it. I was the first person she told, besides her husband, that she had cancer. She didn't even ask to speak to my husband, her favorite son. I am humbled, I am grateful and my loyalty to her has increased 100-fold.
I am not really sure how serious to take this whole cancer thing, and my Mother in Law has made it very clear that no matter what the oncologist has to say, she will not do any treatment. Oddly enough, I don't blame her. As radical as this sounds, I have to question whether there aren't other means to treating cancer other than chemotherapy and radiation. I also have to question the true efficacy of this approach. I have seen the ravages of chemo and radiation and I have seen people die from the treatment rather than the cancer they were so afraid of. I have also heard cases of stage four cancer completely reversed by nutritional protocol. This is definitely the route I would take first if I were diagnosed with cancer AND I would research the crap out of every alternative treatment I could find. And sadly enough, there are times where it's just our time to go and there is no fighting it. When one realizes this at the appropriate time (tell me how one goes about figuring this one out.) it can be the biggest blessing of all allowing one to enjoy the rest of life without being tortured by ineffective treatments.
Lord, I just pray you hold my Mother In Law in your arms and that she allows herself to feel you. Let her heart be open to you and the comfort you have to offer. Please allow me the privilege of being there for her. Heal her if that is your will. If not, let her life end without pain and suffering and with overflowing peace.
As it turns out, she ends up being transported to the hospital via ambulance. Once there they decide she needs surgery. What they found was appendicitis AND a blocked intestine. The end of the infected appendix had actually wrapped itself around the small intestine so that nothing could pass. Crazy. I am glad they found it, repaired it and the nothing more sever happened. This could have been a deal breaker life-wise. She is healing well and should be home by this Sunday.
Now, you know I can never leave a serious situation without some one taking a hit....unfortunately this comes at my MIL's expense. I am the first one she sees when she comes out of surgery. I hold her hand and ask how she is and she replies in a raspy voice that she is so thirsty and that her lips are dry. She's not allowed to drink but I do go hunting around her purse for some chapstick to give her some relief but I can't find any. I then go to my purse and dig out my Burt's Bees lip balm....that has a healthy red tint to it....rhubarb to be exact. Anyway, she wants to apply it herself as she is fiercely independent. Fine. But keep in mind, this is a woman who has recently been anesthetized so she is the equivalent of a drunk that has the blood alcohol level of a million. I then painfully watch her apply (smear) it onto her lips (half her face). Someone really should have arrested me at this point because I did nothing but stare on in horror...and then eventually with absolute entertainment. The end product was a mix of Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker and a clown with a very bad sense of eyesight. I did not have the heart to say anything, and everyone else acted as if all was well.....which actually cracked me up even more....the pure denial. I wanted to stay around longer, but I just couldn't take it anymore without inappropriately bursting out in laughter.
Here's a little update:
My MIL called from the hospital today and asked for me. I thought she was calling to tell me they moved her to another room. But when she spoke I could tell something was really wrong. I thought she was healing well from her surgery to remove her appendix and a blockage in here intestine. What they told her this morning was that the blockage was caused by a cancerous mass. She has cancer.
This was the MIL that hated me for the longest time....and truth be told, I wasn't crazy about her either. She was really mean. Anyway, two months ago, I decided to pull my head out of my butt and realize that she would never change and that if things were going to change it would have to be me. I started to take her out to lunch and do things with her. I knew she may try to sabotage my efforts but I was ready not to get insulted but to forge on trying anyway. I figured that at some point we would have to take her into our home when she got older....I could make this easier or difficult. If I made things better between us now, or at least tried, then having her here might be a lot easier on everyone involved. Does that make sense?
It turned out that my efforts were the magic bullet. Her heart towards me seems to have changed. Because of my pride, I hated biting the bullet to do this, but I now see the Lord's hand in all of this. My MIL now knows with out a doubt that my efforts towards her are not of charity due to her illness, but of a sincere heart to want to forge a relationship with her, as my efforts surfaced before her illness and not in response to it.
This morning, she paid me the highest compliment she ever could have without even knowing it. I was the first person she told, besides her husband, that she had cancer. She didn't even ask to speak to my husband, her favorite son. I am humbled, I am grateful and my loyalty to her has increased 100-fold.
I am not really sure how serious to take this whole cancer thing, and my Mother in Law has made it very clear that no matter what the oncologist has to say, she will not do any treatment. Oddly enough, I don't blame her. As radical as this sounds, I have to question whether there aren't other means to treating cancer other than chemotherapy and radiation. I also have to question the true efficacy of this approach. I have seen the ravages of chemo and radiation and I have seen people die from the treatment rather than the cancer they were so afraid of. I have also heard cases of stage four cancer completely reversed by nutritional protocol. This is definitely the route I would take first if I were diagnosed with cancer AND I would research the crap out of every alternative treatment I could find. And sadly enough, there are times where it's just our time to go and there is no fighting it. When one realizes this at the appropriate time (tell me how one goes about figuring this one out.) it can be the biggest blessing of all allowing one to enjoy the rest of life without being tortured by ineffective treatments.
Lord, I just pray you hold my Mother In Law in your arms and that she allows herself to feel you. Let her heart be open to you and the comfort you have to offer. Please allow me the privilege of being there for her. Heal her if that is your will. If not, let her life end without pain and suffering and with overflowing peace.
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