Stepping In It Again.....

This morning my family and I were invited to a church by our family babysitter and dear friend, Marli. She was going to do a dance performance, which I have to say, was expressive and emotional enough to bring me to tears. She is Psalms with feet...

Anyway it was a good service with a sermon that spoke volumes on loving when we don't feel like it and being committed to this way of thinking....as Jesus was. He broke bread, his last meal, with someone who would betray him to his death, he broke bread with someone who would deny his name three times and he washed their feet with unending love for them. That's love......when you do it when others don't deserve it and expecting nothing in return.

The service ended, and I was relieved as we did not put our sweet young things in the childcare and they proved to be a challenge during the service. We walked out to the lobby where people were chatting and a nice young man walked up to our family and introduced himself as Ryan. My husband and he started to converse and it inevitably came around to finding what each other did professionally. Ryan stated he was the owner of a software company and Steve asked what the name of it was. Ryan just stood there.......pause, pause....even a longer pause. It was obvious that he had heard Steve's question but seemed to not remember his own company's name. So finally, Ryan spits it out. Thinking this was weird, and kind of funny, I say "Geesh ! It took you THAT LONG to remember your own company's name?!" All of you that know me well, know that I am capable of just being straight forward but with an endearing smile on my face.....but nonetheless tactless. Ryan then looks at me and says "Oh, I have a s-s-stuttering problem and sometimes the easiest things refuse to come out."

Crap. Crap........and C-C-C-RAP!!!!!!

Steve, at this point, is giving me a look of utter disgust mixed with a look of absolute mortification. And for some reason when he is disgusted or horrified with me, it just makes me want to laugh....like a pee my pants kind of laugh. I'm in a bad spot now with little self control in a church that just preached on love and grace. Both of which was not present in the mounting giggle about to catapult out of me. So to prevent Steve from actually considering the thought of divorce I say something lame like "Man, Ryan....um, I'm s-s-s-s-orry!" I stuttered because I was embarrassed and trying not to break out in a social suicide like laughter and certainly not in the attempt to make the situation worse. Socially, there was no hope for me with Ryan so I quickly excused myself to go talk to Marli purely for damage control reasons. A look of pure relief came over Steve's face.

When we reconvened to finally leave, Steve says, " A stuttering problem?? Holy cow Thea, could you be any more tacky???" Let me stop right here and give you some insight with Steve and I. First of all, he is still in his learning curve, after 14 yrs. of marriage, regarding what he really got himself into when he married me. Also, the two most frequent questions he asks me in all sincerity are:

1) Are you normal?
2) You didn't really just (do / say) that did you??!!

But I know deep down inside that he loves this about me. I am the social canary in the coal mine to him....because I say / do what he would love to and I live to tell about it. I think he is dumbfounded that we still have any friends at all.

Well, how does anyone end a story like this? ....except just to say that we all lived happily ever after, I survived to tell about it and we will never go to that church again.